More Truth About Michael

Are you still reading?  I thought I made it pretty obvious I was just making stuff up before the jump.  I mean, how the fudge should I know who the "true" Michael Fertik is?  

He probably doesn’t even know himself.  Honestly, does anyone?  Think of the number of rationalizations it takes just to make it to lunch without punching Todd from sales in the throat.  "Team player" my ass.  Hey, how about a Michael slideshow?  Yay!

Oh, come on!  Look, I barely know the guy.  I just set up a camera and leave the room until he summons me back with this little antique silver bell which is really demeaning but he thinks is completely fucking hysterical because he's a technology guru and here he is using this anachronistic means of non-verbal communication.  Ha ha ha ha... Hgh.  I could have stayed in Hollywood and written talking dog movies but no, I wanted to do something "relevant."  

Here's Michael’s Twitter, okay?  Just tweet him whatever it is you're soooo curious about.  If it's a question about him I'm sure he'll respond.